MARINA O’LOUGHLIN: AN INTERVIEW WITH THE GUARDIAN’S FACELESS CRITIC

To become a food critic is a particularly noble feat in itself, but to do it completely anonymously without a single photo of yourself appearing on a Google search, deserves a reward far greater than any night out at a Michelin star restaurant.

Marina is my favourite restaurant critic by a decent length. I think this is in part due to her mystique, but also for her stomach-creasing wit and her ability to describe cheese in a completely different, engaging way in each review. I wanted to find out more about the woman behind the Twitter photo of Roz from Monsters Inc, so I approached her for an interview.

Thankfully she was game.

HOW DID YOU BECOME A RESTAURANT CRITIC? IS IT SOMETHING THAT YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO?

Sheer accident. The right person identified my utter obsession with restaurants at the right time. I’m still waiting to find out what I’m going to be when I grow up.

WHY IS FOOD SUCH AN INTERESTING SUBJECT TO WRITE ABOUT?

It’s unending and enormous. Just when you think you’ve got a handle on the world’s myriad cuisines, something will come along (especially in London) that you’ve never heard of before. It’s a constant revelation and education and impossible for me to get bored or jaded with. The challenge of conveying the flavours and nuances of dishes never lets up. Try writing about restaurants every week for fifteen years without repeating yourself.

WHAT MAKES A GREAT FOOD WRITER? WHO ARE YOUR INSPIRATIONS?

Love, I think. I see too many people getting into the food scene as a launchpad because it’s so hot right now, but scratch the surface and there’s no love. Me, food is what I sleep and breathe as well as eat, and restaurants my pleasure as well as my job. I’m aware that I’m incredibly fortunate. In all honesty, I don’t read too many food writers as I have a terrible parrot’s ear, but I do love people like Diana Henry whose delight in cooking and ingredients shines through every word. And Yotam, of course, a game-changer. And evangelists like David Thompson. It’s the language as much as anything that I’m drawn to. And, of course, I read all the restaurant critics (am a huge fan of NY’s Pete Wells).

HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU EAT OUT A WEEK?

Too many. Waaaay too many.

HOW DO YOU BALANCE EATING FOR PLEASURE AND OVER INDULGING WHEN YOU ARE ASKED TO TRY ALL THESE DIFFERENT FOODS? DOES IT EVER BECOME A CHORE?

Only sometimes when I’m travelling and the impetus is to eat out twice a day. That’s all very well when lunch is a salad, but – as we did in Germany recently – lunch and dinner are both multi-course, Michelin-starred tasting menus, you get to the point you want to beg them to stop. You feel like crying when the fourth dessert arrives, the living definition of ‘my diamond shoes are too tight’. When I’m at home, I basically live on toast and tea. And cut down massively. I try not to drink at home either.

ARE YOU GUILTY OF PHOTOGRAPHING EVERYTHING YOU EAT?

I’m afraid so. I’m a horrible, serial instagrammer. But so far, nobody is paying me thousands per pic. I’m obsessed with the monetisation of Instagram, and spotting the precise moment when an enthusiast turns into a shill.

HAS YOUR HIDDEN IDENTITY EVER ALMOST BEEN FOILED?

A few times, yes. Most recently at Pitt Cue Co and Clipstone. But since I love both of these (and I think they’re pretty well-disposed to me), I reckon I’m pretty safe. Given the ubiquity of social media, I’m amazed I’ve got away with it for so long – there are no pics of me out there as far as I know. I do like the anonymity – I occasionally eat with more famous critics and the experience can verge on the tortured. The poor restaurant seizes up in panic as soon as they arrive.

IN MY HEAD YOU LOOK LIKE CARINE ROITFELD, ALWAYS ATTENDING DINNERS IN SHADES. AM I CLOSE?

Almost exactly. I am, of course, whippet thin.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE TERM ‘CLEAN EATING’?

I dislike it intensely. It presupposes that other kinds of eating are ‘dirty’, which is very dodgy, potentially damaging terminology when it comes to food.

BEST THREE PLACES IN THE WORLD TO EAT THAT EVERYONE SHOULD VISIT?

Joe Beef in Montreal; Majore in Chiaramonte Gulfi; Bistrot Paul Bert in Paris.

ANY ADVICE FOR WANNABE CRITICS?

Oh god, so tricky these days. There are so few regular restaurant critic gigs and all of them are taken by people who are unlikely to budge any time soon. But write, write, write everything – with the joy of writing in mind, not the hope of a sinecure. Eat everywhere and everything. Travel. Visit as many restaurants as you possibly can. Cultivate the interesting websites: Eater, Hot Dinners, Square Meal. Use Twitter and Instagram. Read everything you can get your hands on (I know! I’m a hypocrite). Do not rely on freebies: it’s impossible, no matter what anyone says, to remain objective if you are being gifted. Reading this back, it sounds horribly like you need to have a well-paying job already or a private income. There’s no easy way round it: it’s hard. If my kids said, ‘Mum, I want to be a restaurant critic’, I’d tell them to get a proper job.